The Greatest Love of All*

I'm reluctantly settling back into my workday routine, and realizing more and more amazing things about LRC.

I never heard even a breath of negativity all weekend. Anything was possible. You want to have a band with two bassists, keyboards and a vocalist? You can do that! You want to stop singing and just talk for part of your song? You can do that! The only uncertain or criticizing comments I heard were women voicing doubts about their own abilities — but even these were shaken off quickly and easily. Examples: "I don't know that chord ... yet ..." and "I love this song we wrote, but I'm not sure I can sing it." (That was me ... and it turned out, yes, I could sing it!)

I just can't get over how transformative it was to write a song — especially over the course of a few hours, with people who'd never done that before. It was so amazing to watch/experience as it went from two chords, to three parts (a verse, a chorus, another sort of chorus thing), into something that's actually a song. One that can get stuck in your head! Holy crap.

I'm still absorbing these facts, but ... I have rhythm. I can carry a tune. I can write lyrics. (I have written the word parts of songs before, but never gave myself credit or thought they were "real" songs.) I'm a fucking songwriter!

When we got to Satyricon for the showcase, they were playing Guided by Voices. That (and perhaps the rum) — and definitely my friends being there — made me feel calm and like I belonged.

I was not nervous performing at the showcase. I think I could have moved more, sung better, smiled more, etc., but I did my part fine, had fun, and wasn't freaked out. I was way more nervous when I sang "Glad Girls" acapella in vocals class, and when we did our run-through on Saturday night — I forgot to sing a part of the song, and Morgan (drums) couldn't hear anything in the monitor ... but Beth Ditto still told me she liked our song. Be still my heart!

Speaking of Beth, she's just one of about 30 new heroes of mine after this weekend. Teri, Tara, sts, *winner*, Marisa, Claudia ... and pretty much everyone else there was amazing at what they do and incredibly generous. Thank you!!!

* A bunch of camp staff and volunteers sang this song at the kickin' karaoke party on Saturday night. It's cheesy, but the lyrics really do sum up what Rock Camp is all about. Too bad Whitney forgot these principles when she hooked up with Bobby.